


I'm You and You're Me

by agenthaywood



Series: Someday You'll Understand [4]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: All I have are thumbs now, F/M, I couldn't even spell "it", I hope you all do, I should really stop with the tags, In more ways than one, It Sucks, Not for children, Skye has a small breakdown, Someone is coming after my fingers with a knife, This is horribly written, Ward understands, i doubt it, it all comes to a head, why do I bother writing smut I'm terrible at ti
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-25
Updated: 2014-11-25
Packaged: 2018-02-26 22:59:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2669561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agenthaywood/pseuds/agenthaywood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Skye suffers a small breakdown and Ward helps the only way he knows how. And there may or not be some frick frack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm You and You're Me

**Author's Note:**

> So I feel the need to tell you guys that I'm not writing a story in which Skye's is this perfect person with the whole world figured out and Ward's not a head case.
> 
> I'm trying to stay as canon-compliant as I can and if you could write in the comments how off base I am so I can make corrections in future works I would appreciate it.

I’m You and You’re Me

 

Skye wasn’t happy. The plan didn’t make any sense. Why did Ward want to be in the field with her? There was no reason for it. Skye stopped her barrage of thinking and put on her Agent mask when she opened the door to Coulson’s office.

 

She didn’t miss the way May’s eyes visually appraised her. The way Coulson’s swept across her arms and legs hoping they were strong enough to run and shoot and fight like it was the only thing that would keep her alive.

 

It was.

 

Skye also didn’t miss the way Ward’s eyes lit up when she entered the room. She tried to keep her eyes dead, her body numbed to his gaze, but she couldn’t. The spark was still there and that night in the cell didn’t do anything but make it that much harder to be around him.

 

He understood what she was going through, that was all Skye knew. He understood what it was like to be in her position. But what could she do? S.H.I.E.L.D. was all she had left. The Team was the only real family she ever had.

 

Skye worked her ass off in training to protect them. She kept secrets from the public because it could expose them and that didn’t need to happen. She killed her targets because they would hurt her family. There wasn’t anything wrong with that. It was the best decision she could make with the hand she was dealt.

 

What was she doing?

 

Coulson gave them the briefing while Ward filled in the blanks as best he could. All he could really tell them were what tactics would be used. It wasn’t that helpful but Skye wasn’t angry for him not having anything more to say about them. S.H.I.E.L.D.’s had him locked in a cage for months, there was no way that he was going to know the names of their operatives now.

 

The mission was rather simple: kill the handler and find the HYDRA operative he was meeting. Ward was pose as the handler and get the operative to follow him to the Quinn jet where they would then restrain him and bring him back to base.

 

Killing the handler had to happen in private, which wouldn’t be easy. Ward told them how the handlers were all trained to move through the crowds and avoid being isolated. That meant the kill had to happen fast and most likely in an alleyway.

 

Skye listened like the good Agent she was but her mind was having a hard time not going back to why Ward wanted to be on the mission. She couldn’t see a reason for it other than just overpowering her and escaping. It’s what she would do in his situation.

 

Did he want to see her fight? Did he want to see the murderer she’s become?

 

“Ward, you’ll be flying. Skye I want you to check in every hour. You miss one check in and I send in May to take over.” Coulson brought Skye out of her thoughts. She nodded her head before the automatic “yes sir” came out of her mouth.

 

Ward remained quiet throughout the ordeal. He wasn’t happy with Coulson asking him to keep an eye on Skye. Ward knew what they were really asking, was Skye finally showing a reaction to the drug or was it something else?

 

Ward knew the answer. It wasn’t the drug. It wasn’t that simple. It was them forcing her to become something he knew firsthand would eat her soul: an Agent. She wasn’t that far off from being a Specialist. Her gear was packed in her duffel bag which she had slung over her shoulder. Her forearm bulged with new sinews Ward knew May was responsible for putting there.

 

May stood and led Ward to the armory. It was familiar, packing the Kevlar vest and lacing the holsters with everything he would need to fight a war. The magazines for the pistol felt cold in his hands but the gun was warm. The sights were calibrated long before he picked it up but Ward checked them anyway. It was how he could exhibit any form of control over the situation.

 

Once he was geared up May led him to the hangar. She was quiet through the entire briefing and even when he was in the armory.

 

“You’re a little quiet,” Ward noted.

 

“Nothing nice to say.” May retorted.

Ward stayed quiet after that but May was still intriguing him. He expected her to be the least okay with this situation yet she was asking him to do a favor for her.

 

The Quinn jet was smaller than the bus but Ward expected as much. They weren’t going to be staying in it for a week at a time. If all went according to plan they would be back around dawn.

 

May fixed him with one last glare before she went to check on Skye who was standing by a table in what looked like a workshop to Ward. She was packing up the parts of a sniper rifle and checking her own pistol. May touched her on the arm and Skye didn’t jump despite her not seeing May coming towards her.

 

May and Skye shared a silent conversation that Ward couldn’t hear but he knew orders when he saw them. May was telling her to do something. Skye gave her an incredulous look but quickly fell in line. She gave her SO a curt nod and grabbed the bag off of the table and walked towards the jet.

 

Skye gave Ward the bag and he raised his eyebrows expecting an answer.

 

“May wants you to set it up.” Was all Skye said and walked up the ramp. She sat in the copilot’s seat and waited for Ward to join her.

 

Ward looked at May like she had grown a second head and gestured to the bag. She just raised her eyebrows in a silent “what” posture. Ward drops the subject and makes his way to the pilot’s seat.

 

Skye was quiet during the flight, something Ward wasn’t too keen on since he needed to know where her head was at.

 

“Did anything exciting happen in Pakistan?” Ward broke the silence as they flew cloaked over the state of Washington.

 

Skye’s shocked look told him that Hunter saw things she didn’t want him to.

 

“N-nothing,” she stammered lightly. Ward made a note that he could crack the mask if need be and actually talk to her normally.

“Are you sure? You can talk to me Skye, you know that.” Ward pushed. He needed to know where she was at in her head before he let her get in danger.

 

“It was Donnie,” Skye spoke quietly like a timid child.

 

Ward nodded in understanding. She was still bothered by what happened.

 

“You had to kill someone,” Ward assumed.

 

“Yeah, but it wasn’t hard. Why wasn’t it hard?” Skye looked horrified at herself.

 

“Killing’s a thing soldiers have to do, Skye. It’s not difficult but it doesn’t leave much choice in the matter.” Ward spoke with the ease that came with experience of dealing with it.

 

“I don’t want it to be easy.” Skye spoke with a faraway voice. Ward knew she was flashing back to the kill shot.

 

“That’s not your choice Skye. Killing’s probably the easiest thing for someone to do.” Ward unknowingly made Skye’s eyes flash.

 

“Even for Coulson?” Ward expected that question. He knew how much she looked up to Coulson. It was the same way he looked up to Garrett. It was that longing for the familial connection they were deprived of as children.

 

The thing that worried Ward about it though was he knew how blindly following Garrett ended for him. How that kind of devotion would end for Skye he had no idea. It didn’t look like she was going to be able to leave the game any time soon and that meant she would probably end up dead.

 

The thought made Ward grip the yoke tighter. He didn’t need to worry about that when they were on the ground. He had to do the job right. That meant take out both the contact and the target before Skye could fire a shot. She didn’t need the extra blood on her hands. It didn’t suit her.

 

Ward found a large clearing in an unmarked forest near the more rural area of Washington. He put the jet down and made sure the cloaking would stay up before he left the cockpit with Skye following closely behind them.

They took the SUV to the city the target was meeting the contact in. They were going to be sharing a hotel room under the guise of a brother and sister meeting family for a birthday. The room wasn’t anything overly nice but it suited their needs. Two beds and a bathroom with a table over in the corner. A couch sat against the wall next to the flat screen TV.

 

While Skye was setting up her equipment and making sure the media had no idea that S.H.I.E.L.D. was in the area Ward was busying himself with checking their weapons. He’d been out of the field for a few months but the habits he adopted during his time as a Specialist remained the same. He checked and rechecked the firing mechanisms of the guns and made sure there was plenty of ammo if they needed to shoot their way out.

 

He was puzzled at how much ammo Skye brought. She could’ve just been nervous or this wasn’t just a sniper job they were doing. Either way, two targets didn’t take 500 assorted rounds to be put down.

 

“Skye,” Ward spoke up. She jumped when she was brought out of her bubble.

 

“What is it?” She spoke quickly. Ward must’ve interrupted something important.

 

“Why did you bring so much ammo?” Ward wasn’t going to beat around the bush with this.

 

“What do you mean?” Skye seemed puzzled. How had they been teaching her to pack for a mission?

 

“We only have two targets, why do we need so many rounds for a sniper and two pistols?” Ward pushed.

 

“In case there’s more. May said to always be prepared to face an army.” Skye explained.

 

Ward nodded in acknowledgement. Skye returned to her task and Ward went back to checking the sights on the guns.

_So May’s gotten that far in training, interesting…_ Ward mused as he screwed on the suppressors for the sniper rifle and the two pistols.

 

\--

“I’m thinking of calling in a pizza, sound good?” Skye spoke up from her computer setup.

 

“Yeah,” Ward grunted as he finished his pushups. He stood and walked back to one of the beds to retrieve his shirt when he felt Skye’s eyes raking across his body. He suppressed the smirk that so desperately wanted to plant itself on his face and turned to face her as he pulled the shirt down his torso.

 

“Something wrong?” Ward asked casually. Skye blinked hard a couple times to get her mind back where it needed to be.

 

“No, no nothing’s wrong. What kind of toppings do you want?” She spoke quickly as though she were caught cheating on a test.

 

“Meat lover’s be fine with me, but get whatever you want and I’ll make do.” Ward spoke easy. This situation wasn’t something he was unfamiliar with. Agents who weren’t on the best terms had to work together all the time before the Fall. It was just part of the job.

 

Of course, none of them had to work with the turncoats. They usually wound up in the Fridge. Now, the option doesn’t even exist.

 

“Meat lovers it is then.” Skye brought him out of his thoughts as she tapped the number of the local pizzeria on her phone.

 

\--

 

They eat their meal in palpable silence. The clank of beer bottles on the small table the only real sound in the room. Skye wasn’t willing to come forth with any words but that wasn’t her fault, at least she didn’t believe it to be her fault.

 

Ward didn’t need to do pushups with her in the room. He could’ve at least waited until she was in the shower or something! She had work to do and Ward was distracting her from it. She was behind on breaking into the security cameras around the venue and she needed to submit a report to Coulson saying they arrived but no, Ward had to take his shirt off and work out.

 

She didn’t blame him more than she blamed her brain not being able to separate work from pleasure. Ward was just Ward. He couldn’t help the way he looked or the way Skye reacted to stuff he did.

 

“Is everything alright?” Ward asked through a bite of pizza.

 

Skye blinked a few times and her mouth opened and closed before she could think of a response.

 

“Everything’s fine; just thinking.” An uneasy grin made its way onto Skye’s face.

 

“About…” Ward pushed.

 

“About how you got Coulson to let you out of your cage for a mission. And more importantly, how you got him to let me be here alone with you.” Skye voiced her concerns.

 

“I didn’t ask for this.” Ward started. Skye looked at him in mock shock.

 

“May took me out of my cell shortly after you got back from Pakistan. Coulson wants me to do an assessment.” Ward clarified.

 

“An assessment?” Skye repeated.

 

“They want to know how far gone you are. If you’re still the same person you were before the Fall.” Ward explained.

 

“No one’s the same person after the Fall.” Skye defended.

 

“True, but not everyone started gunning to be a Specialist.” Ward countered.

 

“I’m not trying to be-“

 

“You’ve excelled in combat. I can tell by the definition on your arms and the way they sit. You’ve gotten better with guns I can tell by the small imprint on your shoulder where you rest the stock of whatever you’ve been using. And do I need to bring up the other night?” Ward detailed.

 

“They need me like this.” Skye spoke quietly looking down at her feet.

 

“They need you like what?” Ward pushed.

“They need me strong. They need me able to fight. There aren’t enough of us for me to sit back in a van hacking servers. I need to help fight the way to the servers. I need to help take out targets so May can get the objectives. I can’t be weak!” Skye stood from the table abruptly.

 

She walked over to the couch and picked up the sniper rifle. She started checking the pieces and the ammo. Ward knew coping mechanisms when he saw them. Skye was trying to force the feelings to the back of her mind, occupying herself with tedious tasks and mission details.

 

Ward dropped the subject and started cleaning up their meal. He went and sat down next to Skye on the couch.

 

“I don’t want to talk.” Skye spoke dejectedly.

 

“I wasn’t going to make you. I’m just trying to understand where your head’s at.” Ward apologized somewhat.

 

“Well, it’s fucked up and I can’t do anything about it.” Skye spoke quickly.

 

“You could stop.” Ward suggested.

 

“What?” Skye looked at him like he had grown a second head.

 

“You could stop fighting. Leave S.H.I.E.L.D.” Ward clarified.

 

“I can’t do that. I can’t abandon them.” Skye shook her head at the thought.

 

“Even if they’re what’s hurting you?” Ward pressed. He lightly placed his hand atop of Skye’s while she was tightening the barrel on the rifle.

 

Skye stopped her motions midway. She didn’t move her hand, not away from Ward’s or closer to him. Her skin was heating up. She could feel something pricking behind her eyes. The tears were swimming behind her eyes begging Skye to let them out but she clamped them down. She couldn’t be weak. Not in front of him or anybody anymore. She had to be cold.

 

Warmth got people killed. Warmth was what Fitz used on Ward and that got him thrown in the ocean. Warmth was what she used on Mike and that got her two bullets in her stomach. Warmth lead to pain, and Skye was tired of pain. She wanted to be numb. Numb like May. Numb like Ward.

 

“Please stop.” Skye begged. Despite her force her voice still shook with emotions she wanted so desperately to lock down.

 

“Stop what?” Ward moved closer. He couldn’t stop even if he wanted to, and he didn’t want to.

 

“Stop being what I miss.” Skye felt the tears break through their dam and cascade down her face.

 

“I’m right here, Skye. I’m not going anywhere.” Ward was inches away from her face. She could feel his breath on her skin. It would be so easy to close the distance. It would be so easy to touch him.

 

Skye leaned against him instead. The rifle rested in her hands but the pressure was minimal. Ward wrapped his arms around her shoulders. She felt his lips ghost across her scalp and some feeling she sealed away a long time ago wrap around her chest and restrict her breathing.

 

“I don’t want to do it.” Skye sounded like a small child. She huddled closer to Ward’s chest hoping he could make the job just go away.

 

“You don’t have to, not anymore.” Ward spoke just as quietly trying to avoid startling her.

 

“Yeah I do.” Skye felt the tears fall down her face faster and start soaking through Ward’s sweater.

 

Ward started running his hand across her back in a soothing gesture.

 

Skye felt ice cold.

 

Ward’s warm hands kept rubbing across her skin leaving a trail of fire.

 

The tears were stopping. Skye lifted her head from his chest.

 

Her body was cold. Ward’s was warm.

Skye pressed her lips to the corner of Ward’s mouth. When Ward didn’t turn away, she kissed him more fully.

 

Ward released a small growl as he threaded his fingers through Skye’s shorter hair. He pressed himself against her urgently and Skye fell back along the couch. The rifle clanked against the table before hitting the carpeted floor.

 

Skye entwined her arms tightly around Ward’s neck pressing herself flush against him. The only thing separating them were their clothes.

 

Ward left Skye’s lips in favor of her neck. His lips left a burning trail on her flesh that had Skye’s eyes flutter shut and her head tilt back to give him more access. When his teeth grazed her pulse point bluntly Skye couldn’t contain her gasp.

 

Ward smirked against her skin and lightly nipped at the exposed skin making Skye shiver beneath him.

 

“Don’t tease me; not now.” Skye begged.

 

Ward pulled Skye up from the couch and into his arms. Skye wrapped her legs tightly around his waist and grinded against him. Ward grunted with no displeasure.

 

“Wait,” Ward rasped. Skye smirked and started kissing and nipping and sucking the exposed skin of his neck with fervor. His pulse point became the victim of a rather harsh bite from Skye causing him to drop them onto one of the beds.

 

Skye felt a giggle leave her throat genuinely for the first time in months. She fisted her hand with Ward’s scraggy hair and pulled him down to ignite another passion fueled kiss. Her tongue tangled with his in a cage match and Skye let her other hand wander over his sweater clad torso. She moaned her appreciations of his workouts into his mouth.

 

She slipped her hand under the hem of his sweater and forced it up in a silent order. Ward complied and raised himself from her and shed the offending garment. Skye unconsciously licked her lips when the sculpted plains of his chest came into her vision. Her core clenched almost painfully when she saw the tent in his jeans.

_So it’s been awhile for him too… Good._ Skye thought wistfully as she shed her black t-shirt. Ward’s eyes darkened with lust as her purple bra came into his vision.

 

Skye still had her legs wrapped around her waist and she put the training May put her through to good use and flipped them over. Skye planted her lips on Ward’s with an animal’s ferocity. Her body was finally feeling warmth and it didn’t make her feel sick or guilty.

 

It made her feel good.

 

Ward wrapped a calloused hand around one of her bra-clad breasts and Skye threw her head into the crook of his neck with a strangled gasp. Skye went up to his ear and sucked the tender flesh into her mouth in retaliation and her blood heated hearing Ward’s strangled moans.

 

Ward flicked a finger over one of her hardened nipples and Skye bit down harshly on his ear making him twitch beneath him. She licked the now beat red lobe.

 

“Sorry,” She whispered. Her voice was raspy from her desire-filled breaths and she didn’t mean it anyway.

 

Ward reached his hand behind her back and snapped the clasp on her bra with his forefinger and thumb. Skye raised herself from his grasp and removed the bra before flinging it across the room. The plastic in the silk hit the wall with a smack but Skye nor Ward were really listening to it.

 

Ward sat up with Skye straddling his lap and sucked a tender nub into his mouth where he lavished it with his tongue and teeth. Skye pressed herself against his head as his beard tickled her sensitive skin eliciting more moans and groans from the back of her throat.

 

When Ward turned his attention to her other breast Skye felt his beard rake across the skin between her breasts making her head spin.

 

“If you shave, I will fucking kill you.” Skye gasped as he lightly teethed on her sensitive nub.

 

Skye couldn’t take the minute pleasures any longer. She wanted more. She needed more. She placed her hands on his hard chest and pushed Ward down flat against the mattress. She trailed her mouth across his torso nipping and sucking her way downward. She made sure to spend ample time admiring his abs and licking her way through every crevice making Ward shiver and press himself against her.

 

When Skye got down to his jeans she couldn’t fight the controlling smirk that made its way across her face. She deftly undid the belt and popped the button on Ward’s jeans before pulling them and his boxers down. When his erection sprung rigid in the air Skye felt her breath get caught in her throat.

_No wonder May wasn’t mad at him for the sex._ Skye thought wistfully as she took in the size of him. She licked her lips and in seconds any sounds Ward was making were silenced as she took him in her mouth. She went lower and lower until she felt him hit the back of her throat.

 

Ward’s fingers were threaded through her hair and his hips bucked against her mouth. Skye had a smug smirk on her face as she hollowed out her cheeks and sucked. She worked him over until he was muted with the pleasure.

 

“Skye,” Ward gasped. Mirth found a permanent place in her eyes at the sound of his strangled voice. She looked at him through his lashes and she felt a smug sense of satisfaction. His eyes were darkened almost black with pleasure.

 

“If you don’t stop this game will be over faster than you’d like it to be.” Ward warned.

 

Skye smirked. She released him with a popping sound and Ward jumped. He knocked her back to the mattress and attacked her mouth with his tongue. She could feel his erection pressing against her thigh and she dropped her hands from his shoulders to start removing her pants. She popped the button on her jeans and Ward took over from there. He pressed a kiss to her jawline and moved downwards taking her jeans and panties with him.

 

Ward pressed a kiss to the inside of her thigh. Skye was panting with the anticipation of what was coming and when Ward pressed his mouth against her slit she cried into the ceiling. Somewhere in the back of her mind she thought that maybe she should try to keep her voice down for the neighbors’ sake but as soon as Ward started trailing his tongue along her folds she didn’t give a fuck about anyone else’s discomfort. His beard scratched against her thighs and it rendered Skye almost mute with the pleasure… almost.

Ward pushed his tongue into her core and then replaced it with two of his fingers. Skye was rendered a loud mess of moans and shivering skin as her climax kept building upon itself. She pressed her hand against Ward’s head and pushed him closer into herself.

 

When she came Skye screamed her thanks into the ceiling and effectively waking up every customer of the hotel. Stars shined behind Skye’s eyes and she felt her heart hammering in her chest and her erratic breathing in her lungs.

 

Ward crawled back over and took her lips in a lush kiss. Skye sucked his bottom lip between her teeth and gripped his biceps with fervor.

 

“Are you done teasing me?” Skye asked with a knowing smile on her face. She knew he wasn’t done yet.

 

“Are you sure?” Ward was sure she wanted pleasure but did she really want to do something so intimate with him.

 

“Yes. I’m sure.” Skye spoke evenly. She wasn’t turning back now.

 

Ward took his erection in his hand and rubbed it along her entrance coating himself in her fluids. Skye was shivering with the dull pleasure that was still flowing their veins and when Ward suddenly surged into her in one deep stroke Skye couldn’t make a noise.

 

Ward just held himself there and let them adjust to the feeling. Skye was impatient though and flipped him over so she was back on top.

 

Skye started thrusting up and down and felt him fill her completely. She was moaning her appreciations and buried her head in his chest as she tried to thrust faster.

 

Ward took the initiation. He flipped them over and started thrusting with every amount of strength he could muster. Skye was still moaning and gasping at every in and whimpering at every out. Ward took her in a kiss in an attempt to quiet her down. He didn’t need the other guests reporting them to the front desk and escalating the body count.

 

His efforts proved futile when he brought her to her second climax of the evening. She screamed with the pleasure and wrapped herself around him as tightly as she could as her walls fluttered around her erection.

 

Ward’s own erection was not too far off but he lowered his hand to knee her clit between his forefinger and thumb effectively making her scream and shake a third time as a final climax claimed her.

 

Ward buried his face in the crook of her neck when he came spilling deep inside her. Skye still had her legs wrapped tightly around her waist effectively caging him inside her warmth.

 

Skye’s mind was racing along with her heart. She couldn’t believe she just did that. Ward was the enemy and she slept with him! Coulson was going to have her head. May was going to rip her a new one in the gym and Fitz wouldn’t look at her ever again.

 

Why did she care? Ward was the only not asking her to reprogram herself. Ward was the only one who bothered to tell her how to deal with things. Why did she care what the others thought about her seeking comfort with the one man who actually _cared?_

 

Ward raised his head and looked at her with a steady understanding. He knew what it was like to have an entire life embodied by other people’s wishes. He knew what it was like to want so badly a family that wouldn’t turn their back on you. He knew why she fought like hell to keep that family and why she kept fighting.

 

The tears found a fresh reservoir and flowed down her face freely. She couldn’t contain the bone rocking sobs that took her over.

 

Ward didn’t speak. He just held her tightly to his chest and rubbed her back soothingly. Skye sobbed harder as the familiar warmth Ward put in her chest resurfaced against the lust and burrowed into her heart. She couldn’t stop her body from shaking.

 

“Make it stop.” Skye begged.

 

“I can’t Skye. Only you can.” Ward spoke quietly. He spent those months in the cell making peace with his demons. It may have ended with him trying to kill himself a few times but he came out of it with a clear mind. He made mistakes but there was one thing in his life he wouldn’t regret. The woman he just made love to was having to learn those lessons herself.

 

Skye’s shaking started to slow down. She wrapped her arms across his middle. She didn’t care anymore. Skye was done fighting the comfort he made her feel.

 

They weren’t that different. Not anymore.

 

They were the same.

**Author's Note:**

> The mission's next. There's going to be some stuff Skye does that you may not like, but it's what I feel has been neglected in the show and I'm hoping they make it happen in a way in the Spring installment because it's obviously not happening this batch. Though it could not happen at all.
> 
> To debate this matter in more detail, please contact me on Tumblr at zoroark3496.tumblr.com


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